I'm a Mom! Life Update: My Birth Story & Navigating Life with Baby

show notes

december 5, 2023

Baby Langston has Arrived!!

In this solo life update, Morgan's taking us on the journey of her birth experience and she dives into the raw realities of postpartum and new motherhood. She shares why she opted out of having a doula, and why she's glad she didn't give birth at home! She shares the ups and downs of breastfeeding, her changing body, and the impact the newborn phase has had on her relationship.

And of course, it wouldn't be the Journey podcast without Morgan's insights into managing early motherhood as a CEO and how she's handling maternity leave, motherhood, and some exciting new updates at Blavity. She's also giving a sneak peek into what apps, resources, and products have made a difference as she takes care of her little guy!

Tune in to hear about this challenging and rewarding time in Morgan's life, and celebrate by leaving a rating and review for the podcast on Apple Podcasts!

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transcript

00:00

Hello everybody, it's Morgan DeBaun. Welcome back to the Journey Podcast. I'm here for a quick life update. I had a baby somewhere between a couple weeks ago and a month ago, depending on when you listen to this. And it's been a wild ride. It's been a wild ride. You think you're prepared and then you're not. And I say this as a very prepared person, generally. So let's get into it. I'm going to give you guys an update on...

00:27

how I'm doing, how Baby's doing, and some things that I didn't anticipate that I have had to adjust to. Hey everyone, I'm Morgan DeBaun, a passionate entrepreneur and life advisor. With the Journey podcast, you'll discover that success isn't about the destination, it's about the journey. I'm sharing stories of amazing people who've taken control of their lives. Join me on my own journey to discover the secret sauce behind reaching success with permission from no one else.

01:00

So, baby was born November 1, which is the same day as that. So, I went into labor. I don't think it was correlated. I don't think it was stress related. That was actually his due date. So, he was born on his due date, to be honest. But it was definitely interesting because I labored at home for a really long time, for about 11 hours, because I didn't want to go to the hospital until I was like super

01:29

And I was just minding my own business on Instagram, seeing what you guys were up to, following a lot, and talking to Kate, my team of staff, and just hanging out, hanging out while going through labor pains. One thing that I must say, if you are pregnant or ever gonna get pregnant in your life, labor pains are not that bad, until they are. So the problem is that you're so uncomfortable all of the third trimester.

01:58

And you have so many braxton hicks and so many like fake contractions that like for the first maybe two, three hours, I kind of was like, I don't know, maybe in labor, maybe not, because I've been so uncomfortable for so long that everything felt kind of the same. But then you start timing them. And then that's when I was like, oh, oh snap, I'm in labor. So I woke up at like 12 or 1 a.m. on November 1.

02:26

TMI but I had lost my mucus blood but I wasn't really quite sure. I was just like, just moist down there but generally that's just how pregnancy goes, just lots of liquids. And I was like, oh, okay. I didn't wake Josh up because like why mess up his sleep, you know? And I started counting them maybe like two, three hours later. So then at 5 o'clock in the morning I text my doctor and I was like, I actually sent her a GIF. He was like, hey, it's done.

02:56

I was like, so what do I do? Like, what, you know, what you want me to do? And she was like, well, I actually thought my water had broken because again, first time mom didn't really know what was real, what's not real. So turns out it was just my mucus plug, not my water broken, but at the time I thought it was my water breaking. So she said, well, you know, you have to come in within 12 hours of your water breaking because that's amniotic fluid. You know, baby needs to get out of there. So she said, so come in by 12.

03:26

So, okay, cool. So I wake up, get out of bed, it's like nine o'clock, I call my mom, I'm like, it's time, what's up? She's like, you don't need me to come over right now. I was like, no, no, no, no. Do not come to the house right now. I'm fine, like I'm just going through the motions, I'm bouncing on the ball, I'm doing all the things, and then around 10 o'clock, maybe like 9.30, I'm like, all right, this is getting uncomfortable. They were about three minutes apart, two to three minutes apart.

03:56

So that's kind of the point in which people are like, you can go into the hospital. But I thought I was kind of thinking it out. I was like, kind of okay still. So I did, I prepped for a labor without an epidural. So I took all of the hypnobirthing classes and had a hypnobirthing meditation app. I had my headphones in and my mantra that I kept saying to myself was, I can do anything for 30 seconds. I can do anything for 60 seconds. Because a contraction, the longest a contraction is ever gonna be is a minute and a half.

04:25

of pain. And then if you've got two to four minutes in between your contractions, you know, you don't feel anything in those two to four minutes. So it's not like you're just in prolonged pain. So I just kept saying to myself, I can do anything for 30 seconds. I can do anything for 45 seconds. I can do anything for 60 seconds as they got longer and longer. So I'm just in the bathtub, you know, with my headphones in, you know, I'm like, I can do anything for 30 seconds.

04:52

And one of the things I appreciated about this part of labor, which I'll get to in a second, the second half, but what I think I appreciate about this part of labor is that it was actually very structured. It was a process. I had a timer. I literally hit the button. We're going to have a contraction right now. I'm seeing the countdown of the time. It's done. Now I'm moving on. I started to get kind of bored because at some point you can't really think and can't really talk. So I decided to do my hair. So I washed my hair.

05:21

And I did my makeup because I was like, I don't know, I'm definitely gonna be one of those girlies because there's gonna be so many pictures taken today. And also I was just trying to distract myself. And around 11 o'clock, my mom came over. She then decided to trim my hair because she thought my ends would drag me. And I was like, really, right now? And then I was like, all right, I'm done. I had some oatmeal. I had a quick meal because once you have an epidural and get to the hospital, you can't eat. And went to the hospital.

05:50

So I get into the hospital and I'm thinking, I'm maybe like three centimeters dilated, four centimeters dilated, like I'm a G, I'm a thug, like I got it, you know. But turns out if you're under four centimeters dilated, they send you back home, which I didn't know. Like somebody needs to give people disclaimer. Like you gotta make it past a centimeter's dilation. Okay, so PSA to everybody. And we get in there, they're checking me. She's like, you're six centimeters dilated.

06:21

Oh my god, let's go. Shout out to all of my training. So for the non-maternity people, you need to be 10 centimeters dilated for the baby to come out. So like nine to 10 is when you kind of like, you're about to have the baby. Six centimeters, no epidural. I can respectfully say this, complete, amethyst. Okay, A, B, G. And I could have lasted, like I could have done a couple more hours because it was a system, okay? I'm telling you.

06:49

Everybody get the apps, do the meditations. I did not have a doula. And it was something that you guys know, my first episode for the entire podcast was with one of my favorite doulas in the entire room. So I definitely deeply considered a doula, but I chose not to have a doula because I felt like it was gonna be a lot of cooks in the kitchen and I knew I wanted to have my mom there and I knew I wanted to have Josh's mom there and my doctor, my OBE is a black woman. And so I just felt like I was going to be covered in care already.

07:19

And I didn't want somebody felt like they had to intervene or advocate for me because I felt like I could advocate for myself because I had a good relationship with my doctor. What I also had to consider though with the doula is that your doctor doesn't show up until you're about to push. So you're really, really with the nurses for the most of the majority of the time and nurses have shifts. So if you're in labor midday, your nurse is probably going to change and then a new nurse is going to come in.

07:48

which, you know, these are people who are going into your vagina and doing things, checking your butt, like, checking, it's a very violating experience. Like there's a couple times where I was like, I would prefer for you to be down there. Like I just made it two seconds ago. Anyways, that's a conversation for another day. But back to labor. So I get admitted to the hospital because I'm 16 and we're just dilated. And we're going to the

08:16

birthing room, which was very nice. It was bigger than a hotel room. I had a tub. I had all types of bouncy balls. It was giving luxury. Okay. Listen, I'm pro bouncy ball. I still have it. I still have nothing. The baby likes it. And so I get there. We're getting set up. I change into my cute outfit, my briefing gown.

08:43

You know, I'm walking around, I set my headphones in, and at this point, you know, the lights are really bright, so I had my eye mask on too, so that I just like stayed focused, because at this point I am in pain, and the contractions are close. In fact, they get so close that I say, so let's talk about this epidural, let's talk about it, let's talk about, and what was interesting was the nurses were like, you're so far, you clearly have a good pain tolerance, are you sure you want it? Because you probably can just do this, you probably don't need it. I said, yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure.

09:13

I don't need a gold star, I don't need a brownie point, I don't need a medal. So I get the epidural, which was actually really painful. They messed up a couple of times. So it took them a while and it's just a really uncomfortable process because you have to be very, very still and you're having contractions and someone's poking you with a giant needle. That is probably the most uncomfortable moment was when they kept messing up the epidural. They get the epidural in and I'm like, okay, cool. Like I can't feel my toes. Like we're...

09:43

Good. And then the doctor comes in. Hey, doc. She comes in, checks me out, and she says, you're only seven centimeters. And in my head, I'm like, I spent 11 hours laboring at home. I got to six centimeters. I've been here for four hours and I'm only at seven? The logic is a logic game. I don't understand. Why would I have not progressed?

10:02

And that's what a lot of people warn you about is when you make that transition from your safe space, your home into a hospital where you've got to fill out paperwork and people ask you all these questions, you lose focus and it slows down your progress, which is I think what happened to me. So then doctor checks, turns out baby is face up, which means I had to have a C-section if he does not turn over, which I will say this hospital handled very well, not freaking me out.

10:31

the nurses now get active. So they start putting me on these balls and turning my hips left and right, try to get the baby to turn around. And again, this is also one of the moments I'm so grateful that I was in the hospital and not at home. Because if I had done a home birth, which was one of my original plans, and if I had had a doula, no offense to doulas, that would have been really difficult because it's very difficult to have, they call it the sunny side of birth. This is where it gets a little gnarly. Baby wouldn't turn.

10:59

Baby's heart rate was fine. He was kicking it super chill. Baby was not concerned at all at all Whatever my doctor has to go inside and flip the baby manually It is exactly what it sounds like it is exactly what it sounds like everyone. Okay. Now I have an epidural which again Thank God

11:21

But epidurals don't prevent pressure or movement from being felt, they prevent pain. In other words, you can feel what's going on down there. So it was an out of body experience for real. I was like, I mean, I hope this works because I do not wanna have a C-section, but Lord Jesus, I was not expecting this today. So anyway, she flips the baby and in the process she went up breaking my waters as well. And within three hours I had the baby, within two hours.

11:50

baby. From there, that was what was actually stalling me was the fact that he was still I stuck and turned in the wrong direction, which again, if I'd been at home, could have been a really brutal situation. So had the baby popped down, I pushed like for 15 minutes, like it was totally reasonable. Totally reasonable. Not that painful. It was I was tired. I was really I felt weak.

12:16

Like I felt like I just ran a marathon and you were asking me to run another two miles and I was like, I can't do it. Like I have nothing left to give you. And I actually remember in the middle of it saying, I feel weak, I feel weak. I don't think, am I pushing hard enough? I feel weak and they're like, you're doing fine. So baby pops out, crazy. I kind of had a, it's called an ejectile labor where your body expels the baby, for you. So I was like.

12:45

shout out to my body and baby was great. Baby was so perfect and then that was it. I had a baby.

12:56

He was there. I did it. He was huge. I was like, how did you fit in here? Immediately you're like, this thing is big. So yeah, I mean, I was grateful to have, not that I had a perfect labor experience, but that I had one that was manageable and safe and I never felt worried or scared. And even though I had some hiccups, the medical team did a great job.

13:24

my mom and his mom were able to meet their grandchild in the first five minutes of his life. And Josh was able to get a front row seat to all of the liquids and his child. It was a beautiful experience. So yes, the baby is here. His name is Langston, Dr. Langston Hughes. The baby Langston is here and he's literally perfect.

13:52

been a mom for three, four weeks, I have a few things that I did not expect. One, I underestimated the amount of physical and mental labor that comes with breastfeeding. I prepped a lot for being pregnant and then being a having a healthy pregnancy and then getting through labor mentally, I did not prep for postpartum, I did not prep for breastfeeding, I did not prep for hormonal changes, the diet.

14:22

requirements. And so there was definitely a learning curve. It was just very painful for the first few weeks. And I understand why people choose alternative routes. Like, I deeply understand it because there's definitely the most where I was like, I am out. I love you so much. And yet this is not gonna work for an entire year. It's much better now now that we're a couple weeks into it. But it was really hard. And from a food perspective.

14:50

You know, you're their main source of food and they're highly dependent on you, right? And not just as a like, I'm your mother, but I'm also your sustenance, which is just really weird. I, it's, you know, again, it's dope, it's beautiful, but it's also like, it is a lot of work. So I have to think constantly about what I'm eating, think constantly about what I'm drinking and just making sure that he has everything he needs to be healthy and continue to grow. And it really makes me.

15:20

appreciate and not take for granted having the resources to eat the best things and drink the right things. And I think about all the moms that are breastfeeding and they don't have the resources to drink the body armor, you know, which gives you that the electrolytes have the meal preps and the soups and this and that like, you know, it's just really hard. I physically, I

15:48

And I guess I'll give you my number two, which is like, I was not prepared for the physical changes that happen postpartum, like your uterus contract. So you still have a lot of pain because it was the size of the balloon and it needs to go back down to a very, very small like size of the apricot or whatever. And the hormone drop, you know, spend nine months with your hormones adjusting because you're building this baby and then all of a sudden you don't have a placenta and you don't have this organ that's regulating your hormones. And you...

16:17

you don't have the baby anymore and you need new sets of hormones to produce milk. And it's just a lot of ups and downs on types of sleep deprivation, which turned me into a gremlin. I was so pissed. Like I just went in and out of rage and I felt really bad. But then I also was like, no, like I don't feel bad because everyone around me gets this cute little bundle and I am the person responsible for feeding him. And if something messes up, if somebody upsets him,

16:47

he's gonna want to hang out with me. If he's tired, then he's gonna miss his whole process, his whole schedule, and then I'm gonna be the one to sit up with him. So I just carried a lot of resentment for the first couple of weeks, and not a lot of patience, I would say. That's how I would describe it. Again, much more hormonally balanced now. Still go in and out of moments of impatience and rage, but not to the extent that I was the first few weeks getting out of there.

17:17

That's been an adjustment, it's just I don't think I was prepared for the postpartum process as much as I could have been. The third surprise that I would say is just how much it does change your relationship dynamic. I mean, Josh and I are super solid people and super solid individually with ourselves and then also together. Yet there's a lot of choices and decisions you have to make related to how you're going to protect your child from viruses, from identity theft.

17:46

photos of them being passed around the internet to relatives you never even speak to, trying to get pictures of the baby, you know, and people texting pictures of the baby to other people and just so many choices you're not respectful for as a parent and choices where you might not be on the same page about, right, where I might be more conservative or he might be more conservative or we might have people that I trust that he doesn't trust and people that he trusts that I don't trust. So we just had a lot more.

18:14

dialogue about stuff that isn't actually about our relationship or how we are with one another in places where we disagreed that caused a lot of friction and things that we both had to say, we're going to let this go. I'm going to let this go, do what you want, you let this go and vice versa. So I wasn't prepared for that. And I think he's a very involved dad, a very involved person. I'm so grateful I wouldn't have had a kid with him otherwise

18:44

like to be age, but it's true. Like, you know, he's just a very involved person. But I also think it's hard for men because they aren't breastfeeding. So, you know, when it comes down to it, there is a difference in how you can interact with and provide support for your partner and for the baby. It won't be 50-50 in the beginning. And I think that was a little bit hard for both of us because we've both been such a 50-50.

19:12

in different types of ways, he does things for me, I do things for him, and we both try to do things for each other. There's some things that I just have to do. I will always be up more than you. I will be up. You can stay up with me, but then we're both sleep deprived. So just things like that. I've been getting a lot of good feedback advice from my girlfriends. Him and I have talked through a lot of things, but it's not easy, and I would recommend for anyone who's about to have a baby to think past the birth part and think about.

19:42

How are you gonna manage picture sharing? How are you gonna manage name sharing? What are you gonna tell people you gave birth? People thought I gave birth a week ago, and I'm like, I gave birth a month ago. Because I wanted to have enough time and space with the baby by myself, with us as a little family, before we had all these people texting and stuff. So it's a freaking journey, y'all. That's why I have this podcast called The Journey, because it is a journey. I'm so happy to share it with y'all, but it is a learning curve.

20:11

being a pancreatic curve. Okay, so here's the apps and things that I use for the baby. So now that the baby's here, I use Huckleberry. Huckleberry is a app that you track what they eat, they sleep, and how much they poop out and all the things. It's really helpful because Langston has multiple caregivers throughout the day. So, you know, I'm on this podcast right now. So Josh is watching him and I know

20:40

He's been asleep for an hour and 17 minutes and he last ate two hours ago. So he's going to be hungry the next hour and a half, which means probably going to wake up in the next hour and a half. Right. So it just helps me and him stay on some sort of routine. We don't have a strict schedule. He's a newborn, so it's not like you wake up at this time and go to sleep at this time, but we do have a, you have to eat within this type of range because we want him to continue to gain weight and also it helps us know when he needs to go to sleep and when he.

21:07

like, oh, you've been sleep for quite some time, you're probably gonna wake up soon. That is the most helpful app that we've had. The second thing is that I've run a lot of courses on helping a newborn sleep because I felt like he wasn't sleeping and I wasn't sleeping and it was getting to the point where I was like, this can't be right. So I did by the very controversial taking care of baby. It was kind of good. I know that she's got.

21:36

some personality things that people don't like. And I didn't look that far into it. And then I got into the TikTok thing, but I'd already bought the course. So don't come for me, okay? The content itself is pretty productive, but it's basically the Ferber baby method, which helps you just keep the baby, like how you feed the baby and keep them up. And during the day helps you sleep longer at night, which has been really productive for us. So he sleeps for three hour blocks, occasionally through night. Sometimes he'll go up to three and a half hours, which again,

22:05

to someone who doesn't have kids, or has never been through this process, sounds terrible. But you gotta remember, he might eat every hour and a half.

22:13

So three hours, four hours, like I'm good, I can run a marathon. So many doctors' appointments. Like we go to the doctor a lot. We have a baby, so we just put everything in Slack. Like Josh and I have a joint Slack channel, that's been helpful. And then we use Hatch for our sound system. The other thing that I've noticed about this baby world is that just like normal people world, that there's ecosystems. So Halo, which is our bassinet, has the Halo bassinet.

22:43

the halo baby outfits, the halo sleeper outfits. You can buy it through the ecosystem. The Dr. Brown's battles have the Dr. Brown's everything. Freedia Baby has the Freedia Mom, Freedia Baby, Freedia blah, blah, blah. So it just really, really fascinating going into this whole new world of consumerism for the postpartum and baby world. For our sound systems, we're using Hatch. Shout out to Hatch, they sent me a bunch. And like we have four Hatches. So they...

23:13

different rooms in the house have the hatches and we have the mobile hatch on the go, which has been a lifesaver. We have the Nanit. I don't love the Nanit. It's the camera that watches the baby. I just feel like, it's just like whatever. Maybe it's just because he's old enough yet, so we'll see how I feel later, but I don't love it. And then I've been using AI quite a bit. I still use TratTVT and Cod.ai quite a bit because...

23:40

just to ask questions and then I ask for the sources to find different resources or blogs. There's just so many things you don't know about that you have to Google for asking. I've been on MatLive now for about five plus weeks. I took MatLive a few weeks before labor, before birth, because I felt like he was gonna come a little early. And it's been interesting, you know, to be the CEO of a company, but to also be on maternity leave. I think the most challenging part has been we're making some big hires

24:10

not being able to interview them. Of course I could interview them, but I'm honoring my mat leave and knowing that there's gonna be some new people that I have to get to know. I trust my team and our interviewing process, but it is a big transition to be paying people multi-stakes figures. And I'm like, I've never even met you. I don't even know who you are. It is a weird feeling. So that's probably the first thing. And then the second is...

24:35

You know, we make mistakes all the time. We're a big company. We have a media business. We have Apertek happen. There's a lot of chatter, a lot of conversations about things that people liked and didn't like the Apertek. And, you know, a lot of people didn't know that I just had a baby. So I just kind of taught a feedback. And in my head, I'm like, I'm literally giving birth and you want to text me about this? So I think I'm solicited texts. Don't do that shit. It's trash. But yeah, I think that.

25:02

That was weird because I didn't want to be reactive. I didn't want to like, especially when the team is really live executing on the ground for thousands and thousands and thousands of people and hundreds of customers, you know, you don't want to be like, hey, I'm hearing that there's some things going on, you know? So I'm kept in as reasonable as possible. And I've tried to stay out of it as much as possible. I still talk to my senior leaders probably once a week.

25:29

informally, not with like meetings. I just now started to have like maybe one meeting a week as needed. But it's been interesting. And what I will say is that, you know, if you have a good team and you do the right planning and it works out fine. I think everybody's fine. I think that it's the first month, I don't I feel more balanced now week four or five that I did the first few weeks. So I feel like by January, December, I'll be fine. I'm still gonna stay on Matley.

25:58

If somebody needs me for something, they can just call. It's about food. I have so much time. I have so much time and no time at the same time. The other thing I've been doing with my time is just working on the book more. I'm in the final few steps in the process of editing the book. We're working on titles for the book. We're working on book covers. So that's been really fun just to continue to have that creative project. More matches continue to ship out our new matcha brand.

26:27

Go to more, M-O-R, matcha, deca. And so that's been great. Just being able to still work on a couple of projects that are not super labor intensive, things that aren't super time sensitive, that I can do at two o'clock in the morning when I'm up with him, or five o'clock in the afternoon if I just feel like I need something to look at, to think about, other than what am I eating so that I can feed this child.

26:54

So that's my quick life update, you guys. You know, I am just so in such a transition right now. It's really beautiful. And also one of the hardest things I've ever done. I know it sounds cliche, but it really is one of the hardest things I've ever done because I'm completely out of control of everything. And I worked so hard to be an independent person in control of everything. So it is certainly an exercise of being present and doing the best that you can.

27:24

just getting better at being a parent, being a mom every single day. So I'm really enjoying this time off with baby to hang and watch them grow. Please like and subscribe to the podcast. I love seeing all of your feedback and the reviews. Let me know what you loved about this episode. And I really deeply appreciate you all spending some time just hearing how things are going. So I'll talk to you later. Thanks for listening to the Journey Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please like and subscribe. And if you want to see more of the journey podcast, please click the link below.

27:52

Make sure you leave a review and head to our Instagram and YouTube to leave a comment. I look forward to hearing how this podcast has made an impact on your own journey.